Some Thoughts on Joy
What does joy mean to you?
Let your body feel that question, breathe into it: What does joy mean to you?
I woke up this morning and started the core and yoga flow I’ve made a pact with myself to do before I get coffee, and my first move is into a downward dog stretch. And suddenly I was overcome with wonder
at the way my toes hinge.
Stay with me.
You know, a down dog, or a plank, because your toes hinge the same way in both.
It’s mind-blowing.
The little pads of your toes are facing down on the mat, and the base of your foot is at a 90 degree angle. Do it right now, just hinge your toes onto your tippy toes, it’’ll be a nice stretch for your feet.
I do a down dog at least a few times a day, and I never stop and think about amazing it is that our toes can hinge this way, and we don’t even feel it. Well, I feel it in my big toe which has a touch of arthritis after years of distance running and hiking. But the miracle of how well that joint works.
Take a deep breath.
The miracle of how your lungs work, the intricate system of exchange.
This noticing.
This wonderment.
This is joy.
How about this thesis:
Joy
is a mode
of being.
It’s a way you can choose to be in the world.
It’s a perspective.
It’s a lens.
It’s the initiation and the result of gratitude.
It’s that woosh of feeling, that wow, it can be this good?
This mysterious life can be this good?
It walks hand and hand with gratitude.
Joy is our rebellion against
despair, injustice, disappointment.
It's sturdier than happiness,
and doesn't depend on happenstance.
It's a chosen way of being,
rather than a passing feeling.
It's the gift of gratitude.
It walks alongside grief, inviting us forward,
heartward.
We wish it through tears and prayers
this year:
Joy
Joy to the world.
It’s quite a thing to be approaching Christmas and Hanukkah, celebrations of light coming into the darkness in improbable, humble ways.
Of the divine infusing our humanity,
And our humanity infusing the divine
And all of it happening historically in the place of the world that’s been fought over in the name of God ever since.
Violence and bloodshed now in the same hills where the angels sang “peace on earth, good will to men” in celebration of the birth of a baby born to overturn our systems of power and oppression.
Let’s not forget that even in that story, god is born into a world of violence and injustice.
Mary and Joseph were colonized subjects to Roman rule enforced by corrupt governors. They fled to Egypt because babies were being slaughtered by a king because of a rumor one of them had been born to displace him.
The Hanukah menorah was lit in the wake of a violent battle against political colonization.
This is the thing about joy.
It glimmers alongside the darkest moments.
It whispers to us of a deeper truth that persists despite injustice and oppression.
In even the most atrocious circumstance, our own horror and despair points to the goodness and justice we believe to be the foundation of life.
As the poet Girard Manley Hopkins called it, “the force that through the green fuse drives the flower”
As Aslan the Lion put in the Chronicles of Narnia: “there is a deeper magic”
The author of the Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis, wrote a kind of spiritual autobiography called Surprised by Joy about his late in life fall into love with a woman named Joy, who died of cancer shortly after they married. He equates the feeling of joy as the evidence of God, a kind of whiff of perfume of the kingdom for which we’re actually made. He writes, “All Joy reminds. It is never a possession, always a desire for something longer ago or further away or still 'about to be'.”
“Joy is distinct not only from pleasure in general but even from aesthetic pleasure. It must have the stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing.”
When our souls groan “this is not the way it’s supposed to be”
We’re also affirming the way it’s supposed to be.
We’re affirming joy as our birthright.
Joy does not come from avoiding the pain of life. It comes from going ALL the way into it.
Going all the way into the mystery, the temporality, the grief give the bass notes for us to be able to feel, to fully savor the gifts.
My mom who passed 7 years ago this time of year, gave me the middle name Joy. And in that, she gave me an invitation to live into that. To clam joy as my birthright. As our birthright. To teach from that journey.
Lewis also writes in Surprised by Joy, “Shut your mouth; open your eyes and ears. Take in what is there and give no thought to what might have been there or what is somewhere else.”
In other words, you want joy? Lower the bar.
Be right here. And open your eyes to every thing that is blooming in this moment.
One of my favorite discoveries of this year has been the poet and gardener Ross Gay, whose collection of tiny essays The Book of Delights will sing you back into joy, or as puts it at one point, will fill your heart with flamingoes. His fabulously long and somehow too short poem “Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude” is essentially a list of wonders we have only to pause, to savor, to notice.
So this my addition to Ross’s ongoing, forever and ever catalog, just some random wonders top of mind this morning.
Toe joints! Snow! Puffer fish! Mini horses! The northern lights! Saturn! Rockets! My little fairy wolf dog Everest snow angles outside, Colors! Christmas cactus about the bloom for the 5th year in a row! The smell of a forest! Fire! Friendship! Music! Song! What in the world—we can sing to each other! Slippers! Electricity!
And because joy has no shame in repeating itself: toe joints! And let me add another miracle to my joy list: You.
I could go on and on and so could you. Regardless of what is happening in your life, and in the world today.
What’s yours? What’s your catalog of gratitude? What are the lanterns you can lift up as an answer to darkness?
This month in Alter Together we’re exploring this theme of Joy - just as the days grow shortest and the night longest and the world especially day, we’re cultivating sturdy joy.
I’m offering 4 really special live gathering. On-demand replay for all of them will be included, so whenever you’re listening to this podcast if it’s after these live offerings, you’re welcome to the replays
The Integrate Workshop on Dec 20th - a ceremony to integrate this past year
And The Envision 2024 Workshop on December 27th - to cast a vision of your bravest dreams for 2024
These included in my course Visionary Vol 1: Your Dream Year, which you can learn about and register for at nicolemeline.com/visionary
If you want to join either of both of these workshops on their own, you can scroll to the bottom of that page.
And a live Alter Practice called Wonder-full on December 21, for Alter Together Members. The Alter practice is a music-driven, yoga-inspired mat practice to build strength and ignite your spirit. You can learn more and join with a free trial at nicolemeline.com/alter
And lastly, I am so excited to end the year with a FREE Alter Warrior Ride called Joy Ride on December 28th to ignite your joy and build a bridge to the new year. Sign up at nicolemeline.com/joyride
I would love to hear what this podcast has stirred in you, so please rate and review it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and share it with a friend or on social media. Tag me @nicolemeline and @altertogether so we can send up some smoke signals for like-hearted community, as we alter, together.
This podcast episode is sponsored by Ritual Multivitamins. What perfectly aligned brand, right? In all of my research on nutrition for my own training and my course Weighty, I have looked into a LOT of vitamins and supplements, and have really high standards. I love the quality of Ritual’s ingredients, their smart subscription model which means I never have to remember to order more from potentially shady suppliers, and their packaging, which is so beautiful I actually love making Ritual vitamins a part of my sacred morning routine. Learn more and order at ritual.com/heartward and use code HEARTWARD for 30% off your first order.
